Famous people about sex
Andy Gibb
Girls are always running through my mind. They don’t dare walk.
Bernard Manning
I’m glad I’m not bisexual. I couldn’t stand being rejected by men as well as women.
Bob Hope
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
Brendan Francis
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.
David Cronenberg
Sex is the invention of a very clever venereal disease.
Dudley Moore
I am always looking for meaningful one night stands.
Edgar Wallace
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
Elton John
I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though.
Emo Philips
My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
My girlfiend said to me in bed last night’ ‘you’re a pervert’ I said, ‘that’s a big word for a girl of nine’.
My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn’t have sex quite so often.
You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Frank Carson
I’m not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they’re busy.
George Burns
I would read Playboy magazine more often, but my glasses keep steaming over.
There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.
Groucho Marx
I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls.
Honore de Balzac
The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
James Agate
What’s wrong with a little incest? It’s both handy and cheap.
James Thurber
She said he proposed something on their wedding night that even her own brother wouldn’t have suggested.
Joan Rivers
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, ‘the man goes on top and the woman underneath’. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.
I’m a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we’re making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
It’s so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.
My best birth control now is to leave the lights on.
Ken Hammond
What’s the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I’m home.
Les Dawson
My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she objects.
Mae West
When I’m good I’m very, very good but when I’m bad I’m better.
Marylin Monroe
It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
Matt Groening
When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
Mignon McLaughlin
A nymphomaniac is a women as obsessed with sex as the average man.
Milton Berle
Sex at the age of eighty-four is a wonderful experience. Especially the one in the winter.
Phyllis Diller
A terrible thing happened to me last night again – Nothing.
PJ O’Rourke
There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes-Benz 380L convertible.
Rodney Dangerfield
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I’d have no sex life at all.
Ruby Wax
My ultimate fantasy is to entice a man to my bedroom, put a gun to his head and say, ‘Make babies or die’.
Somerset Maugham
You know of course that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.
Steve Martin
Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.
Taki
Like most men, I am consumed with desire whenever a lesbian gets within twenty feet.
Will Cuppy
The Love Bird is 100% faithful to his mate, as long as they are locked together in the same cage.
Winston Churchill
It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don’t believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it.
Woody Allen
Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.
If there is reincarnation, I’d like to come back as Warren Beatty’s fingertips.
I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it’s a pretty good one.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I know nothing about sex because I was always married.
